Posted 20 hours ago

Farty Pants: A Sound Book of Stink - 10 Fart Sounds!

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If you love waking up to the smell of a cooked breakfast, but don’t have anyone to cook for you, help is at hand in the form of bacon-scented boxers. “Marrying the ultimate in comfort and cured meat, J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear represents the gold standard of meat-scented luxury undergarments,” says the Seattle-based food company behind the porky pants. “Each pair is hand crafted in the US to offer the support of briefs, the freedom of boxers and the smell of breakfast cooking in your pants. You really can have it all.” I cannot understand the bile heaped on this movie. Sure it's not the greatest film ever made - I don't suppose the people who made it would claim it was that - but there is no way that it deserves the bashing it gets here. I'm in my late 40s. My wife and I just watched it with my kids (aged six and four) and a couple of Swiss visitors and we all laughed ourselves silly. It's a funny movie. May experience excessive flatulence; for those people they will know the difficulties of participating in social events. Feelings of anxiety and paranoia only create chemical changes which can affect your digestive system, and if you’re already experiencing excessive flatulence that is the last thing you want to happen! Shreddies provide the assurance and comfort you need, and because they look just like your ordinary boxer shorts, no one will even know that you are wearing them – allowing you to “fart with confidence”.

Where protection to a huge range of chemical, biological or nuclear agents is required; Zorflex is used for instance in protective clothing and decontamination wipes. It’s the most effective protection on the clothing market today. Why? Because it is sweat resistant, antimicrobial, lightweight, breathable, extremely comfortable, liquid repellent and flame retardant – it’s exactly what you will find in your fantastic flatulence filtering underwear. Osama bin Laden was a terrorist, meaning that he was willing to use violence to cause death and destruction and spread fear for personal gain. He was shown to have a strongly Anti-American ideology which reflected in his various terrorist atrocities committed against the country. He is depicted as utterly insane and deranged, speaking in gibberish and being impervious to logic and reason. Before you try and deny it; it happens to each and every one of us and there is no stopping us from letting one rip. Even if we try and do it subtly; we can’t guarantee that no one will notice. If you’re embarrassed about your “flatulence” (gas, fart, trump – let’s get them all out of the way!) then Shreddies underwear are the perfect “fart pants” you need – yes, they do really exist!The film focuses around an overweight child who constantly breaks wind, he eventually gets his dream to become an astronaut with the help of his goofy and annoying friend Rupert Grint. And thats it, the rest of this annoying film just focuses on toilet jokes. And I don't mean classy toilet jokes like Dumb and Dummer I mean stupid, unfunny, toilet jokes, like Thunderpants. The Thunderwear holster … all the comfort of having a gun in your undies. Photograph: Thunderpants holster

Yep, there’s a whole lot of science behind these underwear; believe it or not they are made from the same material that is found in chemical warfare! So if you’re worried that your gas is a weapon of mass destruction, the flatulence filtering underwear will capture the odour vapours and neutralise them, so no one will ever know! Now, as magical Shreddies seem - they don’t perform miracles; if gas passes through the carbon filter all odours will be eliminated. You must take into consideration on how you stand or sit when you feel like you are about pass wind. So when you’re standing or sitting, ensure that there are no gaps around the waistband or leg openings and your underwear is firmly against the skin. This will avoid flatulence from escaping around the filter.Not so X-rated: wholesome Silhouette Underwear fro the 1960s. Photograph: V&A Undressed: A Brief History of Underwear/PR Image Lymn Bank Strongest Cheese Barrel - A smooth and creamy mature cheddar at two and a half years old to deliver depth of flavour and tang.

This is fart humour at its very best, and should really be a high 6 or a low 7. So I say this to every IMDb voter - get Thunderpants off the bottom 100! 9/10 Crohn’s disease - long-term condition that causes inflammation of the lining of the digestive system

The company sees cosmetics as a big growth market for its “chargeable underwear” technology. Sit down and you could get an unexpected shot of moisturiser, perfume or cellulite cream, giving the idea of “slimming underwear” a whole new cachet. Oh, for a bacon-scented bottom

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