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Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

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FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Undoing her bra with one hand 5 calories Removing her arse from too-tight jeans with the help of some margarine and a team of firemen 20 calories Shaking hands with the firemen as they leave 5 calories  TOTAL: 30 calories  22 FOR HER Shagging - her on top Climbing onto him while he gropes your tits 15 calories Doing all the work 150 calories Getting bored and stopping because he’s making no effort 0 calories  TOTAL: 165 calories  FOR HIM Shagging - real orgasm Grunting like a pig 20 calories Shafting her like a steam piston engine until the boiler blows up 200 calories Falling asleep and snoring 5 calories  TOTAL: 225 calories  108

Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

Foreplay - kissing Foreplay - nibbling Foreplay - stimulating Foreplay - golden shower Foreplay - bondage Foreplay - S & M Foreplay - M & S Foreplay - whilst driving Foreplay - oral Foreplay - 69 Shagging - doggy style Shagging - missionary Shagging - in the car Shagging - on the car bonnet Shagging - at the movies Shagging - her on top Shagging - in a porn film Shagging - silently Shagging - noisily Shagging - a prostitute Shagging - a client Shagging - up the arse FOR HIM Shagging - cyber sex Positioning your webcam so that your irresistible body can be seen by all those men pretending to be girls on the Internet 5 calories Spending many hours online trying to find a genuine bird to cyber-shag 10 calories Making do with a Thai ladyboy 30 calories  TOTAL: 45 calories  96 FOR HER Shagging - a client Explaining the tariff 5 calories Listening to his bullshit about his wife not understanding him 5 calories Removing his hands from your breasts and explaining they’re optional extras 20 calories  TOTAL: 30 calories Layered shag haircuts are characterized by lots of volume and texture. This hairstyle can work well for women with any length of hair, but it looks particularly nice when there is some long layers added to the style. One of the best things about this hairstyle is that it can be styled in so many different ways. You can wear it curly, wavy, or straight, and you can also add some waves or curls with a curling iron if you want a more tousled look. You can also add some light hold hairspray if you want to keep the style in place all day long. 8. Choppy Shag Haircut Summer is a comin’. This means war. Mind over mutton. Drastic measures need to be undertaken, and I don’t just mean the Bridget Jones girdle guard (which, in any case doesn’t fit me anymore. As I found out last week when I put it on but couldn’t take it off. At least not without the intervention of a fire brigade). (Well, so what. How many fires do you think they put out at any given time anyway? Its more like a tree kitten rescue job. Trust me, they welcome my sort of problems). The pixie shag haircut is a great style for women who want a low-maintenance hairstyle. This style is characterized by short, choppy layers that are cut into various angles. The end result will be a textured pixie cut that is full of volume and movement. You can wear your hair curly, wavy, or straight. 14. Shag Haircut for Straight Hair

Shag Yourself Slim by David Ryder | Hachette UK

A shag haircut is a great style for blonde hair as it adds some extra texture and an undone finish which works to brighten up your complexion. If you’re after a more subtle look, opt for low-maintenance highlights – this will prevent your colour from looking brassy and preserve your blonde hue for longer. 20. Shag with Brown Hair FOR HER Shagging - up the arse Recoiling in horror when you realise what he’s doing 10 calories Letting him give you one right up there whilst wondering whether to mention your diarrhoea problem 40 calories Apologising to him while he washes everything in the room twice. 5 calories  TOTAL: 55 calories  65FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Taking a shower or bath even though you weren’t due to have one for another week 10 calories Brushing your teeth and flossing and using mouthwash 5 calories Trying on kinky underwear 10 calories  TOTAL: 25 calories  The shag haircut can look amazing on mature ladies. If you’re worried about your hair looking too wild, ask for side swept bangs which will help to soften up the choppy layers around your face. You can also ask for longer layers that fall just below your jawline to create a flattering shape while helping to balance out any areas that may be starting to thin. 19. Shag with Blonde Hair

Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose We by Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose We by

FOR HIM Shagging - a prostitute Asking various women how much they charge before finding an actual prozzie 20 calories Explaining to her that your wife doesn’t understand you 10 calories Stopping half way through to see if you have enough cash to touch both nipples 20 calories  TOTAL: 50 calories  62 FOR HIM Shagging - doggy style Taking her from behind 20 calories Moving her around a bit so you can still see the telly 10 calories Giving her the best session she’s had since she once got too friendly with an Alsation 75 calories  TOTAL: 105 calories  44 FOR HER Self-shagging with a vibrator Replacing the batteries that short-circuited last time due to damp conditions 10 calories Letting the machine do the work 2 calories A far bigger orgasm than your boyfriend ever gives you 100 calories  TOTAL: 112 calories  13If you’re blessed with curly hair, then the shag haircut is ideal. With cut layers added to provide definition and give shape so your curls don’t get weighed down, plus softness through the ends, you can enjoy all-day volume and bounce in an instant. If you want to enhance your curls even further, use a texturizing product likea salt spray or sea salt gel. 5. Modern Shag Haircut FOR HIM Shagging - in a porn film Having to ‘keep wood’ for hours at a time during multiple takes 300 calories Having to shag dozens of birds in a day’s work 500 calories Feeling guilty that you have such a great job while your mates work in a pie factory 10 calories  TOTAL: 810 calories  56

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