NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

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At first, it’s adversarial. Then it moves towards information seeking by the cheated partner. And finally, it reaches the stage of looking for deeper meaning and possibly then fixing the relationship. We feel great with our affair partner and we love the feeling that our partner feels the same with us. It might be counterintuitive, but an emotional affair that is consumed later on will bond the affair partners much more strongly.

Shirley Glass | Psychotherapy Networker

Unfortunately Haskins doesn’t want to know, he tells George that he can’t see the wood for the trees and tells him to take seven days leave. The body of Eddie Glass then turns up. Drake, who was the organiser of the bullion raid, wants Shirley out the way. He arranges for one of hip men to reveal where Eddie is buried. It’s a set up though, Drake and his men are waiting there for Shirley and George. He might have been planning to break up and elope with the affair partner, but all of a sudden he realizes how much he cares about the relationship. #3. Impatience: When Are We Going to Be Good Again?

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If you are interested in at least exploring the possibility of recovering together, I highly recommend this post:

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The good news? It can be accomplished, and the commitment can be richer than ever. Not because of the affair, but because of the work done to make marriage #2 better than marriage #1 ever was. As Schaefer points out in The Like Switch familiarity is a major element of the like equation, and emotional affairs are likely to start in places that breed familiarity and continuity of interaction.

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The bidding partner soon enters the negative absorbing state, which is the negative affect from past failed bids building up with every new failed bid. It gets easier to get into the negative state but challenging to exit, resulting in a persistent negative state of mind. Soon unheeded requests turn out to be stressful and pointless arguments. Therefore bidding partner suppresses feelings and needs, leading to avoidance of conflict and self-disclosure. Investing less and comparing more Sometimes the initial emotions solidify and strengthen in the weeks and months that go by. But some other times they shift.